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The four stages of parenting are Discipline (0-5 years old), Training (5-12), Coaching (12-18), and Friendship (18+ years old). Parents have to consciously adjust their approach as kids seamlessly transition from one stage to the next. Too many parents never do. Or they fall behind and are forced to play catch-up.
The goal of carefully considering your words, your tone, and your timing is not merely to build and protect your kid’s self-esteem. The reason to get your words right, both spoken and unspoken, is because of the influence they can have.
Your marital status and your views on marriage influence how your children move through the world, not just when they’re teens or start dating, not just when they’re young adults, but now. The emotional climate in your home affects your children’s current and future well-being.
A good posture to take when your child disobeys is Oh no! The Oh no! posture sides with your child against their disobedience. It also gives you time to calm down and think creatively about how to tailor the consequences to fit the crime.