What does discipline look like in a grace-based family? We need to avoid taking our kids' negative behavior personally—even when it's meant that way. We're ahead of the game if we choose to be a first-responder parent rather than an emotionally reactive one.

We need to take our cues about discipline from the best Parent of all. If we treat our kids the way God treats us, we give them the freedom to be different, vulnerable, candid and imperfect. In this way, we breathe the fresh air of grace into our relationship with our children.

There are rules that should and shouldn't be found in a grace-based home. We may struggle with knowing when we have too many rules, or not enough; who the rules apply to, and for how long. Here's the rule about rules: Have as few rules as possible, and no fewer.

It can be easy to react in the heat of the moment and then regret our course of action. We need to factor in the context and determine if there is an unmet need causing the child to act out. Learn to accurately assess your kids' behavior so you don't overreact or under-respond.

The paradigm-shifting principle of "redeem" distinguishes the all-important difference between punishment and discipline. The goal of grace-based discipline is to target and correct the wrong things our kids do, not attack who they are.

There's one big part of discipline we still need to deal with: consequences. Consequences deal with a behavior problem in the moment in a way that shapes their character for a lifetime.